Dear Crimson: Fushimi's Monologue
by Blackcat314
Summary: A oneshot take on Fushimi's thoughts and feelings about Yata Misaki after watching ep.5 Contains mentions of MikoRei, mainly SaruMi (Saruhiko x Misaki). Obviously contains yaoi, but no smut. A bit of psychotic desperation, though.


Dear Crimson: Fushimi's Monologue

Hey everyone, it's been a while since I last updated or wrote any fic, I know. To be honest, the writing muse just comes in and out, so I suppose my writing is unstable like so. I'm really sorry~! This just entered my mind on a whim, so here it is.

First of all, I have to admit that I am a pure newb fan on K. I haven't read the manga, and I have only watched up to episode 5 of the anime, so please forgive me if my portrayal of the characters appear too OOC. I do admit I don't have a good grasp of them as of yet. Also, I know there are fans of ReiSaru instead, but as of now, I have to say I am a SaruMi fan. So here it is, this fic is a SaruMi (Saruhiko x Misaki) fic. Please don't read if you are absolutely against this pairing. Otherwise, I will not be responsible for any mental anguish resulting. There's also a slight mention of MikoRei (Mikoto x Reisi).

Disclaimer: I do not own K or any of the characters, otherwise Misaki's new name will be Fushimi Misaki, and Kuroh's last name will be Isana, if you know where I'm going with these last name changes. ;)

-happy is the line break, and happy is Fushimi in his own POV-

Misaki, Misaki, Misaki. Mi~sa~ki~. That's all I ever think about whenever I don't have to be investigating mundane stuff for Scepter4. Or whenever our paths happen to cross with HOMRA. My beautiful, flaming kitten with the smoldering eyes. Always so full of energy, and so easy to stir into disturbance. He's so very lovely and sweet. Devoted. So devoted, it hurts to know those orbs glinting with unending loyalty and admiration, would never turn to look at me.

When I was with you guys, I knew. I saw how easily you turned away from me as soon as Mikoto entered the picture. You would stare from your distance, eyes aglow with admiration and loyalty. It is futile, you know. Mikoto's eyes are only ever for the one he likes to call his enemy, Munakata Reisi. So what was I to do while you so easily strayed from me? I love you so very much, you know, that I even got my clan tattoo on the exact same part of my body as you. So that we can match. It was my silent pride, you know. Even to this day, it rests there, and does not fade away even though I've scratched it out so many times. I still carry the red daggers I used, back when I was with you, you know. It's true they're a bit of power, but that's not really why I carry them.

They're important to me, reminders of the time I spent with you, sharing laughter where I can, getting bits of your attention to myself whenever I can. See how cruel to me you are, my Misaki? To reduce a man in the prime of his youth and with power to boot, like me, to begging silently for scraps of your attention. Yet you, all the while, act oblivious to my pain, and call me the cruel one for betraying you, betraying HOMRA.

I should have you know, my dear, I did not betray you. You said you respect Mikoto's power…so in order to become that kind of powerful person that you so admire, I desperately looked for more power. So why can't you turn your eyes to me now? I have grown stronger after joining Scepter4. Stronger maybe, even than you. I've pierced you with one of my daggers during our little tango at that school that day, were you aware? Wasn't that proof that I was stronger? Stronger than you? So why don't you admire me now? Am I not to your liking?

Still, it is alright. They say the flipside of love is hate. They also say that when you go too far on one end you will go off the scale and come back on the opposite end. So hate me for my betrayal as you will, the deeper the better. So that I will always be on your mind, and that you can never forget me. Hate me so much so that you would come to love to hate me. It's alright, I am a patient lover. I shall wait until you go too deep off the hate end and come back on the other side in full love. In the meanwhile, I shall live off of your attention. It thrills me, you know, every time we meet. I can't help but want to engage in a fight with you, because that is when your eyes are fully trained on me. They're burning with emotion again, and it makes me happy to know those emotions are fully just for me. Even if they hold only anger and contempt. It is alright, once you get to the end of your scale of hate for me, I shall make it up to you when you come on to the other side of the scale.

We have already captured your King, but fear not. It is not my goal, at least, to utterly erase Mikoto Suoh and HOMRA. I know you would be quite crushed and lost if you ever knew Mikoto died, my Misaki. Munakata is pleased that we have captured Mikoto, and that serves well enough as warning to the other factions. I daresay Mikoto is being quite well treated…more than he deserves, in my opinion. Misaki-chan, you should know, Mikoto is not suffering here in the least bit. He is in a very fortunate predicament, given Munakata's full attention. I personally don't care much whether MIkoto lives or dies. His defeat, death, or the dissolution of HOMRA…none of that is prize to me. YOU'RE my prize.

Did I not tell you? Or did you forget, Misaki? I told you that time, didn't I? What I crave is the flesh and blood of the world, because life is so dull and plain when I don't have your energetic presence directed at me. I want your undivided attention, it doesn't matter what it is. Only never stray your eyes from me. Think of me however you will, just don't ever forget me. Love me, hate me, feel SOMETHING for me that is mine alone. Go wherever you will, only don't ever go where I can't reach you. I can't forgive that, and I'm afraid I will have to remove all obstacles that block my way. I can't really guarantee their safety at that point, it's their fault for interfering with the course of true love. So to that end, I hope you understand, just how devoted I am to you.

My lovely Misaki, I've never betrayed you. It is all so that I can make my mark deep onto you, because I am so very afraid you'll simply forget me as another one of those random annoyances in your life. I should like to prove I am more than that. If you say that I am mad because I want nothing less than the blood and flesh of the world, that is only because I don't have you. I promise I'll cease this mad lust for blood when I get to have you, body and soul. You'll come to terms with your feelings and realize you love me just as I love you. I have faith in you, that you'll see that some day. Then we can both revel in the bliss of love, a deep one without end.

-The line break marks the end, to this fic and Fushimi's madness-

Ehh….how was that? I hope I didn't make Fushimi sound too whiny….is he too polite and not creepy enough? I tried to make him more sinister…but maybe I'm reading a bit too much into his motives? Err….review as you feel like. I'm not really type to say "I'm not going to update if there's no reviews" or anything. This is a oneshot. There is no update, just Fushimi's creepiness, and maybe misguided love(?) I'd be happy if someone did a Yata Misaki response to this…oh, but please do send me a PM about it! :D


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